black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

This Bud’s for yooouuuu.” C’mon, everybody, let’s be hypocritical bastards. It’s okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you.

Bill Hicks

I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Mean
I’m not into those kind of rivalries. I remember standing out in front of Stratford, minding my own business. Carload of about eighty kids would pull up.
BILL HICKS

Business Kids Men Running
Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
BILL HICKS

Land might Pick Please
I’ve had seven balls of light come off a UFO…explain to me telepathically we are all one and there’s no such thing as death.
BILL HICKS

Balls Light Seven
I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all.
BILL HICKS

Christian Running Wish
Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you’ve chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurling back to reality . . . You’re dead too.
BILL HICKS

Enjoy Eternal Evening Fantasy Reality
God has this…hobby. He creates perfection. This world is not perfect. We have to learn to separate illusions from reality.
BILL HICKS

Hobbies Perfect Reality
I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don’t know, and I feel it’s my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . .
BILL HICKS

Evening Information Reality
I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Ideas Revolutionary
I’m totally confused about what I’m going to do with my life.
BILL HICKS

Confused Going Life Totally
It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer’s pussy.
BILL HICKS

Good Jesus Real Smoking
The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they’ve never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people’s minds, exposing them to the light.
BILL HICKS

Exposing Laughing Light People
I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching.
BILL HICKS

Country Light Thinking
See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A., the United States of America. But actually we live in the U.S. of A., the United States of Advertising. Freedom of expression is guaranteed? If you’ve got the money!
BILL HICKS

Country Expression United States
How come people always flip and think they’re Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. ‘Ah’m BUDDHA!’ ‘You’re Bubba!’ ‘Ah’m Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.
BILL HICKS

Country Jesus Thinking
I’m just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.
BILL HICKS

Collective Ego Trying Unconscious

This Bud’s for yooouuuu.” C’mon, everybody, let’s be hypocritical bastards. It’s okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

This Bud’s for yooouuuu.” C’mon, everybody, let’s be hypocritical bastards. It’s okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bill Hicks Quotes