You’re not a human till you’re in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
BILL HICKSHow come people always flip and think they’re Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. ‘Ah’m BUDDHA!’ ‘You’re Bubba!’ ‘Ah’m Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves…After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
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As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.
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What’s gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we’re all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It’s gonna fuck up the economy!
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I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.
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Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
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You are the imagination of yourself.
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I was a weekend drinker…I’d start on Saturday, end on Friday…thought I was controlling it…but I don’t drink any more.
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Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks.
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I go to dance clubs…about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going ‘God, what idiots!’
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Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let’s put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
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It’s an insane world, and I’m proud to be a part of it.
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I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.
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I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind’s sole purpose on this planet.
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We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.
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You want a better world…? Legalize pot right now. …end the deficit? Legalize pot right now…biggest cash crop in America.
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To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
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Now I wonder why we’re f-ked up as a race. I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the word “bunny” or “chocolate” anywhere in the f-king book.
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I saw…a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs.
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I…am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light…in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.
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I’m just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.
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I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.
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May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps… sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?
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Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.
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The economy that’s fake anyway! Ha ha ha! Which would be a real bummer. You know. You can see why the government’s cracking down… on the idea of experiencing unconditional love, ah.
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Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that’s why you giggle the first hour.
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My voice was not heard, the questions were not asked that I wanted to see asked.
BILL HICKS