I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
BILL COSBYYou are a genius! and I am a genius because I married you.
More Bill Cosby Quotes
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And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl there’s a little voice that say, ‘I wonder where he would go if it hadn’t been for his head.
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I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty, I told her. Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.
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Human beings are the only creatures on earth who allow their kids to come back home.
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Man can not live by bread alone, he must have peanut butter.
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Nobody ever says, Can I have your beets?
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There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.
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Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you’re pouring, or drinking.
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The serve was invented so that the net could play.
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Decide that you want it more than you’re afraid of it.
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In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
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When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?
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I’m not the boss of my house. I don’t know how I lost it, I don’t know when I lost it, I don’t really think I ever had it. But I’ve seen the boss’s job and I don’t want it!
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Never forget that the devil is there 24/7 too. He’s very, very busy.
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The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.
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You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don’t want to see the dog doing them.
BILL COSBY