Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it’s a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
BILL BAILEYIt’s the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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Thank God for Darwin, eh?
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Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
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I’m sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.
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The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we’re still alive, before we die.
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I once punched a bloke in the face for saying ‘Hawk the Slayer’ was rubbish, when what I should have said ‘Dad, you’re wrong.’
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Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
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I’m a vegetarian, I’m not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they’re nearly fish aren’t they.
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It’s not a beard, it’s an animal I’ve trained to sit very still.
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This shed does not contain me.
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What I’d like to do now – well, what I’d like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a harp.
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I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people’s doors and running away. God that was a good game.
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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says “Why the long face?”. The horse replies: “I’m deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.”
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I think we’ve missed a trick there. We could develop wheat with the properties of Velcro… to catch whatever it is that’s forming those crop circles! But then the spaceship would have to have the corresponding Velcro, so it’s a bit of a long shot.
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You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey.
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I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you’ve got to admire the workmanship.
BILL BAILEY