The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don’t have these.
BILL BAILEYWithout the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
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At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time.
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
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Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it’s a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
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How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! …no eight!
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Not to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.
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I once punched a bloke in the face for saying ‘Hawk the Slayer’ was rubbish, when what I should have said ‘Dad, you’re wrong.’
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I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people’s doors and running away. God that was a good game.
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What I’d like to do now – well, what I’d like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a harp.
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This shed does not contain me.
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I’m quite lucky, because I’ve got a small, decorative concrete pig.
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I’m sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.
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In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we’re united and enjoy life – Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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My wife bought me a vintage Gibson guitar that isn’t just beautiful but has tremendous sentimental value. I have plenty of guitars for live gigs but this is one to treasure.
BILL BAILEY