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In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.

Andy Rooney

I don’t know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you’ve taken a pill out?
ANDY ROONEY

Hands Mystery Pill Yourself
Conservatives are more religious than liberals–although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.
ANDY ROONEY

Conservatism Liberal Nice People Religious
In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
ANDY ROONEY

Book Difficult Live Surround
Don’t keep saying, “I don’t know where the time goes.” It goes the same place it’s always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
ANDY ROONEY

Place Time Unknown
Death is a distant rumor to the young.
ANDY ROONEY

Death Distant One Liner Young
I’d like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.
ANDY ROONEY

Enough Funny Letter Money Myself Rich
I’ve learned, That love, not time, heals all wounds.
ANDY ROONEY

Healing Love Myself Time Wound
Most of us aren’t that interested in getting rich- we just don’t want to get poor.
ANDY ROONEY

Focus Interest Perspective Poor Rich
I’ve learned, That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
ANDY ROONEY

Learning Myself Time Work
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
ANDY ROONEY

Myself Opinion People
I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.
ANDY ROONEY

Luck Old Purpose Yourself
I’ve learned, That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.
ANDY ROONEY

Help Himself Learning Myself Prayer Strength Way
When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
ANDY ROONEY

Basic Education Life Myself Need
Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
ANDY ROONEY

Fold Food Restaurant Time Trust
I can’t choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.
ANDY ROONEY

Action Feeling Myself Work
It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
ANDY ROONEY

Better Truth World

In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.

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In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.

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Popular Authors

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