I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
ANDY ROONEYMost of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY -
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
ANDY ROONEY -
We’re all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
ANDY ROONEY -
The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
ANDY ROONEY -
It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
ANDY ROONEY -
Don’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
ANDY ROONEY -
If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.
ANDY ROONEY -
Most of us aren’t that interested in getting rich- we just don’t want to get poor.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
ANDY ROONEY -
If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
ANDY ROONEY -
Don’t rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
ANDY ROONEY -
If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
ANDY ROONEY