I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEYIt would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.
ANDY ROONEY -
If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
ANDY ROONEY -
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.
ANDY ROONEY -
Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
ANDY ROONEY -
Familiar things are a comfort to us all.
ANDY ROONEY -
Conservatives are more religious than liberals–although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.
ANDY ROONEY -
I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
ANDY ROONEY -
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
ANDY ROONEY -
Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.
ANDY ROONEY -
Don’t you hate it when, your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
ANDY ROONEY -
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
ANDY ROONEY -
Women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
ANDY ROONEY -
It’s paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.
ANDY ROONEY