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I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.

Andy Rooney

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY

Eat Soft Sweet Word Yourself
A cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.
ANDY ROONEY

Cat Goodness Ideas Kill Time
The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.
ANDY ROONEY

Greatness Mindset Virtue Way
Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
ANDY ROONEY

Animal Forget Grandparents
I’ve learned… that just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.
ANDY ROONEY

Day Learning Myself Person
Go to bed. Whatever you’re staying up late for isn’t worth it.
ANDY ROONEY

Bed Later Stay Worth
No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
ANDY ROONEY

Bad Book Guy Oneself Writing
I’ve learned, That love, not time, heals all wounds.
ANDY ROONEY

Healing Love Myself Time Wound
Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion – as long as it agrees with ours.
ANDY ROONEY

Agreement Believe Opinion Ourselves Right
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
ANDY ROONEY

Myself Opinion People
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
ANDY ROONEY

Age Fresh Myself Wait
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
ANDY ROONEY

Alone Happiness Smile Yourself
If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
ANDY ROONEY

Date Deserve Internet Meet Murder Yourself
Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.
ANDY ROONEY

Behavior Civilization Confirm Natural
I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that’s why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
ANDY ROONEY

Business Computer Myself Writing
Once you pass forty, a dime isn’t worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
ANDY ROONEY

Drop Oneself Worth

I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.

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I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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