I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
ANDY ROONEYAnyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don’t know what they’re talking about.
ANDY ROONEY -
Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
ANDY ROONEY -
All of us talk faster than we listen.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
ANDY ROONEY -
The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.
ANDY ROONEY -
I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
ANDY ROONEY -
Those of us who don’t have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading “Confused.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY -
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.
ANDY ROONEY -
If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.
ANDY ROONEY -
Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion – as long as it agrees with ours.
ANDY ROONEY -
Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.
ANDY ROONEY -
Go to bed. Whatever you’re staying up late for isn’t worth it.
ANDY ROONEY







