Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
ANDY ROONEYSooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
ANDY ROONEY -
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY -
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
ANDY ROONEY -
Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
ANDY ROONEY -
Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn’t have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.
ANDY ROONEY -
Conservatives are more religious than liberals–although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
ANDY ROONEY -
Don’t rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That love, not time, heals all wounds.
ANDY ROONEY -
Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.
ANDY ROONEY