When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
ANDY ROONEYWhen those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
ANDY ROONEYIt would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
ANDY ROONEYSooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
ANDY ROONEYA woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.
ANDY ROONEYMost of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
ANDY ROONEYI had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that’s why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
ANDY ROONEYAnyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.
ANDY ROONEYIt isn’t working that’s so hard, it’s getting ready to work.
ANDY ROONEYGo to bed. Whatever you’re staying up late for isn’t worth it.
ANDY ROONEYI dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people’s idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
ANDY ROONEYAll economists should be locked up until they admit that they don’t know what they’re talking about.
ANDY ROONEYIf dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
ANDY ROONEYI’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEYDon’t you hate it when, your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
ANDY ROONEYI’ve learned, That when you’re in love, it shows.
ANDY ROONEYMost of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.
ANDY ROONEY