The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
AMBROSE BIERCEScriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
-
-
Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
AMBROSE BIERCE