Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
AMBROSE BIERCEScriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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