Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
AMBROSE BIERCEConsul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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