Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
AMBROSE BIERCECorporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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