Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
AMBROSE BIERCECorporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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