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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

Ambrose Bierce

Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Harm Patient Prescription Situation
Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Disguise Education Understand Wisdom
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Belief Manifestation Opinion Statement
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Activity Diversity Equality Heart Human
Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Assasination Harmony Instrument
Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Faith Holy Ourselves Religion Scripture Writing
You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Help Religion Stupidity
Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Boundary Divorce Relationship
Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Company Interior Laughter Noise
Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
AMBROSE BIERCE

Electricity Natural Reason
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Evil Existence Philosophy Replacement
Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Appearance Art Color Fools White
Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Body Decay Life Selfish
Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Believe Divine Need Neighbor Religion Spiritual
Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Average Perseverance Success Virtue
Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Country Fools Freedom Instrument Power

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

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