There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
AMBROSE BIERCECorporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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