Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCEFidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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