IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
AMBROSE BIERCESweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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