Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
AMBROSE BIERCEEulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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