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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

Ambrose Bierce

Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Company Interior Laughter Noise
There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Instrument Worst
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Act Repeat Word
An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Advantage Election Good Stolen
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Advantage Affair Interest Principle Private
He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Age Believe Fools Hard Thinking Wisdom Young
Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Black Color Optimism White
ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Concession Demand Resort
RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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Assassination Character Weapon
Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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Blessing Exception Leaving Money
Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Country Fools Freedom Instrument Power
What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Believe Country Democracy Oneself Ruin
Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Ambition Death Desire Enemy Friendship
Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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God Man One Liner Reason Sleep
Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Drive Slave Substitute
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Children Cold Compassionate Feeling Love Mom

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

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