Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCEAll are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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