LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
AMBROSE BIERCELitigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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