Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCELitigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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