Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCELitigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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