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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.

Ambrose Bierce

REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Art Charm Measurement Nature Worm
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Community Marriage Master Mistress Slave
Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Country Discover Fertilization Person
Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Average Perseverance Success Virtue
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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Body Man Ocean World
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Advantage Affair Interest Principle Private
History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Fake Fools History Important Rule
Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Each Other Hands International Separate Thief Union
An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Advantage Election Good Stolen
PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Contrast Fall Sense
Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Box Defend Democracy Stage
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Brain Science Thinking
Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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Breathe Conversation Listening Vocal
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Children Cold Compassionate Feeling Love Mom
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Care Civilization Government Intelligence Ourselves Reward
PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Body Fortune Goodness Purity Uncomfortable

Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.

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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.

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Popular Authors

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