Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCEAborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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