The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
AMBROSE BIERCEAborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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