Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCEAborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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