Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCETrue, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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