Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
AMBROSE BIERCEPhilosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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