LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
AMBROSE BIERCEPhilosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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