Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCEWar is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
AMBROSE BIERCE







