Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
AMBROSE BIERCEWar is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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