There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
AMBROSE BIERCEThere are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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