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Ambrose Bierce Quote - There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.

There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.

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Instrument Worst

Bagwalas

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Astrology Custom Easy Fate God Responsibility
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Death End Estate Himself
Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Age Head Himself See Thinking Wisdom
Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Brain Fear Idiot One Liner
There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Instrument Worst
ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Blacksmith Cloth Kind Man
There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Adventure Knowledge Old Sun Wisdom
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Food Place Religion Service State
RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Delusion Experience Observation Reflection Save
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Angry Best Regret Talk Yourself
Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Entertainment Innocent Military Popular
Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Avoid People Selfish
They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Animal Born Egg Loud Lying
Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Arrangement Classification Ignorance Knowledge Small
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Activity Diversity Equality Heart Human
War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
AMBROSE BIERCE

God Place Teaching War

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