Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
AMBROSE BIERCEForgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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