Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
AMBROSE BIERCEForgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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