You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCEULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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