I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
ALAN KINGLet’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
More Alan King Quotes
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
ALAN KING