As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
ALAN KINGLet’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
More Alan King Quotes
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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The other day my house caught fire.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
ALAN KING