My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
ALAN KINGAnd humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
More Alan King Quotes
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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The other day my house caught fire.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
ALAN KING -
You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
ALAN KING






