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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
ALAN KING

Great New Older Thing Year
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
ALAN KING

Comedy Create Nothing Reflection
I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
ALAN KING

Give Interview Know Poor Start Until
I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
ALAN KING

Again Go Role Something Sympathetic Thirty Two Week
My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
ALAN KING

Bed Eat Favorite Out Saturday Spend Sport Television Watch Way
When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
ALAN KING

All Birthday Celebrate Everybody Father Kid Tell Tree Use
I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
ALAN KING

Bad Good Joy Over Place Review Scream Unhappy
Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
ALAN KING

Difficult Face Funny Go Let Offend Worry
There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
ALAN KING

Any Believe More Nobody Trust
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
ALAN KING

Bran Fifteen Last Live Longer Spend Toilet Year
My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
ALAN KING

Coverage Fire Frown Kind Lawyer Problem Theft
Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
ALAN KING

Confidence First Freedom Gave Lot People Program Sullivan Television
But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
ALAN KING

Fun heavy Love More Movie Much
There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
ALAN KING

Charm Humor Rhythm Soul
I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
ALAN KING

Armor Eat Place Suit
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
ALAN KING

Eat Every Holiday Jewish Kill Summer Try Won

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