An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
ALAN KINGAnd humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
More Alan King Quotes
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I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
ALAN KING -
I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
ALAN KING