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We love America just as much as they do. But in a different way.

Al Franken

It is my fondest wish that in the fullness of time, the American people will look back on the Franken presidency as something of a mixed bag and not as a complete disaster.
AL FRANKEN

Back Bag Country Disaster Fondest Fullness Look Mix People President Something Time Wish
Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
AL FRANKEN

Masturbate Mistake Okay Today Want Written
Sometimes if I tell people, ‘I’m afraid that I’m really a fraud,’ or ‘I have a lot of self-doubt,’ they go.
AL FRANKEN

Afraid Doubt Fraud Go Lot People Self Sometimes Tell
There are as many forms of advice as there are colors of the rainbow. Remember that good advice can come from bad people and bad advice from good people.
AL FRANKEN

Advice Color Form Many People Rainbow
Having an actual income can expand your romantic horizons toward the more appealing end of the spectrum.
AL FRANKEN

Actual Appeal End Expand Horizon Income More Romantic Spectrum
But God told me that He/She/It had actually chosen Al Gore by making sure that Gore won the popular vote and, God thought, the Electoral College. ‘That worked for everyone else,’ God said.
AL FRANKEN

Actual Chosen Electoral Everyone God Good Gore Make Popular Sure Thought Vote Work
But when Americans lack the most basic information about our domestic surveillance programs, they have no way of knowing whether we’re getting that balance right. This lack of transparency is a big problem.
AL FRANKEN

Big Country Domestic Get Information Lack Problem Program Surveillance Transparency
Compared to the American public at large, probably a slightly higher percentage of journalists, because of thier enhanced power of discernment, realize they know a gay person or two, and are, therefore, less frightened of them.
AL FRANKEN

Compare Country Enhance Frighten Gau Higher Journalism Large Less Percentage Person Power Probably Public Slight Two
He didn’t have a career as such; he was a printing salesman essentially for most of his working life.
AL FRANKEN

Career Essential Life Print Salesman Such Working
You can’t change your fingerprints. You have only ten of them. And you leave them on everything you touch; they are definitely not a secret.
AL FRANKEN

Change Definite Everything Fingerprint Leave Secret Touch
You know, Lincoln was funny. I don’t think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you’re funny.
AL FRANKEN

Elect First Funny People Really Should Show Think
I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.
AL FRANKEN

Aftre Bank Being Die Happen Heaven
Net neutrality isn’t a government takeover of the Internet, as many of my Republican colleagues have alleged.
AL FRANKEN

Colleague Government Interest Many Republican
No one is more sensitive to the issue of overeating than the creator of Stuart Smalley.
AL FRANKEN

Creator Issue More No One Overeating Sensitive
I’ve never understood why we would want to deny all the joys – and the challenges – of marriage to anyone.
AL FRANKEN

Anyone Challenge Couple Deny Gay Joy Married Think Understand
Minnesotans know the difference between the job of satirist and the job of senator. And so do I.
AL FRANKEN

Between Difference Do Job Minnesotan Satirist

We love America just as much as they do. But in a different way.

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We love America just as much as they do. But in a different way.

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