“Let’s not let the government sell us out. Let’s fight for net neutrality.”

I’m crushed by the responsibility of writing a satirical book.

It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.

I’ve spent my entire career being a satirist.

To ask whether the mainstream media has a conservative or liberal bias is like asking whether al-Qaida uses too much oil in their hummus. It’s – I think they might use too much oil in their hummus – but it’s the wrong question.

Oh, no, you’re kidding.’ I go, ‘No, I’m really honest.’

When a company is able to establish a dominant market position, consumers lose meaningful choices.

This is something I learned only too well years ago when I did a fundraiser for Pol Pot. A few years later I saw ‘The Killing Fields,’ and I’ve got to tell you, I just felt like a schmuck.

At ‘SNL,’ I wrote political stuff, but I never felt the show should have an axe to grind. But when I left in ’95, I could let my own beliefs out.

As a source of innovation, an engine of our economy, and a forum for our political discourse.

I don’t know how many of you have been to New York, but if a building is two blocks away from anything, you can’t see it.

If you control the flow of information, you can control the conversation around important issues. If you can control the conversation, you can change this country.

creates jobs all over the world, and makes life easier for millions of Americans.

And when you hit him, he runs to the teacher and says, ‘Teacher, sue him.’

Minnesotans lost their jobs because the credit rating agencies didn’t do the only job they’re supposed to have.

And the agencies concluded that the Russians had a clear preference for President Trump.

Part of the middle class promise is that, after a lifetime of hard work, you’ll be able to retire and enjoy the fruits of that labor.

There is a place in the net where the keeper cannot reach the ball.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Leap, and the net will appear.

The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.

The ball was literally glued to the back of his foot – into the back of the net.

People should remember that Mexican migration is now at a net negative.

artists try to say things that can’t be said. in a fragile net of words, gestures, or colors, we hope to capture a feeling.

I make good money: One speech nets me more than what most people make in six months.