Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way.
AL FRANKENMy dad always told me to stand up to bullies, and Bill O’Reilly is kind of a bully, and he’s the kind of kid who hits other kids on the playground.
More Al Franken Quotes
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My parents were really political. The news was very important in our home.
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Armed with nothing more than a Facebook user’s phone number and home address.
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My mom sold real estate and did it part time.
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I anticipate that Apple’s fingerprint reader will in fact make iPhone 5S owners more likely to secure their smartphones.
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And if those two other doctors get paid by Big Snack Food, like certain climate deniers get paid by Big Coal, I shouldn’t take their advice.
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I’ve spent my entire career being a satirist.
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I’ve never understood why we would want to deny all the joys – and the challenges – of marriage to anyone.
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And I think that being able to make people laugh and write a book that’s funny makes the information go down a lot easier and it makes it a lot more fun to read, easier to understand, and often stronger. So there’s all kinds of advantages to it.
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I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.
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that is eventually going to have an effect on soldiers and troops who are actually going to believe that and it’s wrong. It’s just wrong.
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All concluded that Russia did in fact interfere in the 2016 election in order to, quote, help President-elect Trump’s election chances when possible by discrediting Secretary Clinton.
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There’s plenty of room for humor in politics, God knows, but it’s a serious business.
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The way I see it, I’m not going to Washington to be the 60th Democratic senator. I’m going to Washington to be the second senator from the state of Minnesota.
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When you win an election, what you really win is a chance to go to work for working families who need a voice in Minnesota.
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During Vietnam, I was in college, enjoying my student deferment. The government wisely felt that, in my case, military service was less important than completing my studies to prepare me for my chosen career: comedian.
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