If I put myself on the ballot and even 50 people voted for me, it’d be a travesty.
AL FRANKENI’ve never understood why we would want to deny all the joys – and the challenges – of marriage to anyone.
More Al Franken Quotes
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Oh, no, you’re kidding.’ I go, ‘No, I’m really honest.’
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Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way.
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Love takes attention and work and is the best thing in the world.
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He didn’t have a career as such; he was a printing salesman essentially for most of his working life.
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I’m for Israel’s right to exist.
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I think if you’re going to do a movie about Reagan, you do it about the fact that he created the huge deficit.
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Part of the middle class promise is that, after a lifetime of hard work, you’ll be able to retire and enjoy the fruits of that labor.
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The Freedom of Information Act doesn’t apply to Silicon Valley. And you can’t impeach Google if it breaks its ‘Don’t be evil’ campaign pledge.
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My dad didn’t graduate from high school, ended up being a printing salesman, probably never made more than $8,000 a year.
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I couldn’t think of anything less appealing than molding the minds of tomorrow’s leaders.
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It’s hard to have that debate around secret programs authorized by secret legal opinions issued by a secret court. Actually, it’s impossible to have that debate.
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The Minnesotans I talk to are really concerned about what the future holds for their families.
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Too many people don’t protect their smartphones with a password or PIN.
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Let’s keep the Internet weird. Let’s keep the Internet free.
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I’m the New York Jew who actually grew up in Minnesota.
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Most of us here in the media are what I call infotainers…
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The right wing has had a radio apparatus for years and years, so they’ve had minor leagues.
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He [Newt Gingrich] is the most unpopular politician in America. His favorable rating is only four points higher than the Unabomber.
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The Internet can only work if it’s a truly level playing field. Small businesses should have the same ability to reach customers as powerful corporations.
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I just can’t sit still and meditate; that doesn’t kind of work for me. I don’t even know exactly what it means.
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What you see on the campaign trail is me. It’s easy being me.
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I might think they use a little bit too much oil; some people might think it’s a little dry. But the problem with al Qaeda is they want to kill us.
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It was hard for him to project who he is, the person people know in private.
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There is a subset of Democrats who tend to mis-fill out ballots. The way you mark the ballot is like an S.A.T. – you fill in the circle. And the subset of people who tend to, like, put a check there instead, or an X, or fill it out wrong.
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I wish I had spent more time at the office and less time in prison.
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The institutions that we’ve built up over the years to protect our individual privacy rights from the government don’t apply to the private sector.
AL FRANKEN