I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
ADAM CAROLLAI feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
ADAM CAROLLAI’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
ADAM CAROLLADon’t do your best, do my best.
ADAM CAROLLAThere are certain things women are better at than men.
ADAM CAROLLAWell, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
ADAM CAROLLAIf women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
ADAM CAROLLAI’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
ADAM CAROLLAWhen you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
ADAM CAROLLAI have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
ADAM CAROLLAI don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
ADAM CAROLLAChicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
ADAM CAROLLAI don’t know anything about computers.
ADAM CAROLLAPeople who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
ADAM CAROLLAToss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
ADAM CAROLLAThe reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
ADAM CAROLLAI want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
ADAM CAROLLA