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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.

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Basketball Brother Guy Odd Playing Team Yarmulke

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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Oprah Read Reading Tell Thinking Women
So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
ADAM CAROLLA

Admit Bringing Courage God Keep People Suppress
Rich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.
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Everyone Money Pay People Rich Tax Ton
I know everything because I know nothing.
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Everything Know Nothing Aware Truth
I don’t know anything about computers.
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Aware Computer Function Know Knowlege Work
Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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Butch Dyke Funny Humor Lesbian Lipstick Sweatpant Thinking
I’d never hurt another person.
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Another Calm Heart Hurt People Person Pure
I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
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Crazy Funny House Lonely Ratio Roof Someone Talk
You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
ADAM CAROLLA

Club Due Kil Funny Home Humor Sit Wait Yourself
[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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Equivalent Fat Giving Government Morning Overwhelmed People Person Sending
. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
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Best Bless Country Dancing Floor God Man Star Win Woman Wooden
That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
ADAM CAROLLA

Dream Force Like Love Pursue Quit Sport Writing
My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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History Less Motto Mystery Reveal Suspense
I am not a good cue card reader.
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Card Cue Feeling Good Positive Reader
Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
ADAM CAROLLA

Everyone Fiscally Hollywood Leaving Republican Shoot Thinking
Don’t do your best, do my best.
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Advice Best Force Mine Order Question Work

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