I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
ADAM CAROLLAIf you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
More Adam Carolla Quotes
-
-
If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
ADAM CAROLLA -
People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
ADAM CAROLLA -
If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I am not a good cue card reader.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
ADAM CAROLLA -
It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
ADAM CAROLLA -
People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
ADAM CAROLLA -
You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
ADAM CAROLLA -
The shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
ADAM CAROLLA -
The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
ADAM CAROLLA