I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
ADAM CAROLLAI saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
ADAM CAROLLA