Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
ADAM CAROLLACalifornia is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
ADAM CAROLLA