When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
ADAM CAROLLAI give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
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There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
ADAM CAROLLA