If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
ADAM CAROLLAI give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
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You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
ADAM CAROLLA