I am not a good cue card reader.
ADAM CAROLLAThe shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
ADAM CAROLLA