If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
ADAM CAROLLAThe shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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I get depressed at airports.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
ADAM CAROLLA






