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The shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
ADAM CAROLLA

Business Dog Family Focus Fun Good Life
I’m a comedian, not a politician.
ADAM CAROLLA

Comedian Comedy Feeling Irony Joke Laugh Life Politician
If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
ADAM CAROLLA

Beer Bottle Butterfly Chased Idea Sell Water
I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
ADAM CAROLLA

Burn Calories Happen Masculine Trying World
I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
ADAM CAROLLA

Aisle Feeling Land Side Thing Views
My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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History Less Motto Mystery Reveal Suspense
I get depressed at airports.
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Airport Depress Depressed Fear Height Scare Shy
Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
ADAM CAROLLA

Butch Dyke Funny Humor Lesbian Lipstick Sweatpant Thinking
He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
ADAM CAROLLA

Done Funny Guy Humor Onesome Threesome
I am not a good cue card reader.
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Card Cue Feeling Good Positive Reader
I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
ADAM CAROLLA

Car Guy Hammer Nut Sort Swinging Turning Wrenching
I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
ADAM CAROLLA

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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
ADAM CAROLLA

Age Life Positive Show Story Success Year
People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
ADAM CAROLLA

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. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
ADAM CAROLLA

Best Bless Country Dancing Floor God Man Star Win Woman Wooden
I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
ADAM CAROLLA

Anybody Harmless Ill Know People Thought Towards

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