You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
ADAM CAROLLAI’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
ADAM CAROLLA






