Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
ADAM CAROLLAI don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I’d never hurt another person.
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
ADAM CAROLLA