I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
ADAM CAROLLATo make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
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When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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