I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
ADAM CAROLLAWe’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
ADAM CAROLLA






