I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
ADAM CAROLLAWell, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
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I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
ADAM CAROLLA