I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
ADAM CAROLLAIt’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
ADAM CAROLLA