The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
ADAM CAROLLAIt’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
ADAM CAROLLA