They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
ADAM CAROLLAIt’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
ADAM CAROLLA