Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
ADAM CAROLLAIt’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
ADAM CAROLLA






