There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
ADAM CAROLLAIt’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
ADAM CAROLLA