I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
ADAM CAROLLAI spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
ADAM CAROLLA






