Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
ADAM CAROLLAI spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
ADAM CAROLLA -
The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
ADAM CAROLLA -
All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
ADAM CAROLLA -
The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.
ADAM CAROLLA -
If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
ADAM CAROLLA -
You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
ADAM CAROLLA -
In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I know everything because I know nothing.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
ADAM CAROLLA