When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
ADAM CAROLLAI spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
ADAM CAROLLA -
I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
ADAM CAROLLA -
People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
ADAM CAROLLA -
As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
ADAM CAROLLA -
The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
ADAM CAROLLA -
It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
ADAM CAROLLA -
California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
ADAM CAROLLA