There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
ADAM CAROLLAI spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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I get depressed at airports.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
ADAM CAROLLA