The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
ADAM CAROLLAI’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
ADAM CAROLLA