Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
ADAM CAROLLANo one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
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When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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