I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
ADAM CAROLLAScrew guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
ADAM CAROLLA