The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
ADAM CAROLLAScrew guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
ADAM CAROLLA






