I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
ADAM CAROLLAScrew guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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Rich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
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Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
ADAM CAROLLA






