I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
ADAM CAROLLAI feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
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We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
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There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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I’d never hurt another person.
ADAM CAROLLA